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lost in last week

I'm so far behind right now it isn't funny. It's wednesday. WEDNESDAY! I have done no work towards any of my assignments! lukcily for me the first isn't due in until the friday of the first week back. but still, I should be doing something! But school work is something I can catch up on a little easier because my house has wireless now so I can sit in the living room and work stuff out rather than having to wait two hours for dad to get off the computer and then come in every two minutes to check his scan or whatever.

Oh yeah did i mention that I'm home? :D I never thought that I would miss The Hole. But as Patrick pointed out, it's not that bad a place to grow up. Sure there's nothing to do but watch TV (which apparently drives your boyfriend crazy, more of a sad crazy) but if you look out to one side you have (brown) pacific ocean and to the other you have the way out and also the way back in. But I'm so far behind on home stuff too! I haven't unpacked anything! And I'm all the way back to wrestlemania with dad, which for those of you who don't know is about a month ago.

I haven't seen or really spoken to Levi or Ra-ra in a while, not even e-mails because we've each been bogged down in study. And don;t get me started on my diary, I think I'm still on 'so because we kissed does that mean we're going out?'

I had a text deep and meaningful with kehan last night about boys and their adament requests to buy their girlfriends things. It drives me crazy! and I don't really know why. Thumpthumper, Ra-ra and I always joked last year that we're going to need to marry rich men so that they can buy us EVERYTHING. but now that I have a rich boyfriend, I find myself fighting him to pay for myself. And here are the theories that I've come up with as to why:

1) Independence. When you're single, you don't really know how independent you are, and even when you're datingyou don't realise how it's slipping away. He hasn't started paying my rent yet but it's a different kind of independence. I'm always with him, or thinking about him or talking about him. I'm not alone in my own headspace anymore. A sign of love? Possibly. But over the summer I worked full time to have the money I do now. And I know that his money is passed down from trustfunds, I know that he and his family earned it. So it's like I know how hard it was to get that money and I don't want to take it away from him.

2) He's rich. I know it. He knows it. By this point, everyone knows it. And I have this melodramatic movie moment in my mind that I'll meet his mum and she'll hate me because I don't come from the same background, which must mean that I'm with him for his money. And I know she'd never do that, she likes me already and hasn't met me yet. But I still don't want jesse or anyone else to think that I'm with him for his money, so if I fight to not have his money, then he'll believe it.

3) I can't do the same. Yes I worked full time over the summer, and I'm doing really well, only out 5 bucks a week from expenses that isn't covered by my student allowance or the money dad sends me. But i can't go out and get him something because he'll love it. I can't insist to pay for both of us to prove that I love him.

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